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How to Build Habits That Stick

Unpeeling the Layers of Habits Change

Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

Epictetus

Ever wondered why it's so challenging to break a bad habit or to sustain a good one? Despite our best intentions and occasional spurts of motivation, habits like regular exercise, journaling, or eating healthily often fizzle out after a few days. On the other hand, unwanted habits seem to cling on for dear life. The struggle with habit change is primarily because we focus on the wrong aspects and approach the process incorrectly.

Layers of Habit Change

To effectively address habit change, visualize it as peeling the layers of an onion, each representing a different level of transformation. Understanding these three layers can revolutionize how we build lasting habits.

  • Outcomes: The outermost layer, representing the results you desire.

  • Processes: The middle layer, focusing on the habits and routines you implement to achieve those outcomes.

  • Identity: The deepest layer, encompassing your beliefs and self-image.

Behavior change involves three layers: outcomes (what you achieve), processes (how you achieve it), and identity (who you become)

Shifting Focus From Outcomes to Identity

Most people try to change their habits by focusing on outcomes. This approach can be ineffective because it doesn't address the root cause of our behavior. Instead of focusing on what you want to achieve (outcomes), focus on who you want to be (identity). Your habits are a way of embodying your identity. When you consistently perform a habit, you're reinforcing a belief about yourself.

For example, if you write every day, you're acting out the identity of a creative person. Over time, this consistent behavior shapes your self-image and strengthens your belief in your ability to write.

Two-Step Process for Identity-Based Habits

Identity-based habits are powerful because they alter your self-perception and embed the desired behaviors into your core beliefs. Adopt a two-step approach to changing your behavior through identity.

  • Decide the Type of Person You Want to Be: Reflect on your core values and aspirations. Who do you aspire to become? This foundational step forms the basis of your new identity.

  • Prove It to Yourself with Small Wins: Start by building small habits that align with your desired identity. Each positive action reinforces your new self-image and builds confidence in your ability to change.

By consistently proving your new identity to yourself with small wins, you embed these habits deeply into your self-perception.

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Ultimately, habits are not just about achieving results; they’re about shaping who you are. The next time you aim to change a behavior, ask yourself: “What kind of person do I want to be? What habits would support that identity?” By focusing on the identity you wish to embody, you pave the way for lasting change.

Remember, you have the power to transform yourself. Choose your habits wisely, and they will guide you toward becoming the best version of yourself.